Some ‘internal’ messages at Hammock (we have a cool intranet) should be shared with a bigger audience. Here’s one that was posted this morning:
In a unanimous ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court today decreed that Hammock Publishing must immediately free up to 50 percent of the contents of its office refrigerator to make room for refreshments currently in a cooler in the back of Bill’s car.
Writing the majority opinion for the court, Justice Antonin Scalia-Lite – sorry, Joseph Alito – opined that nearly empty containers of hummus and cottage cheese, as well as browning pieces of celery and wilting fruit “may well be at substantial risk of further decay and after a long weekend will present an increasing level of grossness to others who must occupy this same environment.”
The case has been handed back to local authorities to take prompt action if the offending material is not removed “within a reasonable number of hours.”